36-ish Weeks

Ah.  The home stretch. I am currently 36 weeks and 5 days along. So, pretty much 37 weeks. But whatever. I only have three weeks left until my due date. I'm hoping he comes a little early (kind of), but Dan would prefer if he waited until after Christmas to make his debut.

This week Clark is full term, depending on where you look. Some websites claim 37 weeks to be full term, but some claim 39 weeks is full term. I'm just happy he is still growing and developing. As much as I would like to have him here now, I would rather he stay cooking until he is all ready. ;)

He is the size of a winter melon this week. Again, where are these people finding all these obscure fruits and vegetables? I have no idea what a winter melon is.  From pictures, it looks like a giant cucumber. Here is one for your viewing pleasure:

We are FINALLY homeowners!! We love our new house and we are almost completely unpacked. My beautiful sister Tori came over and helped me put Clark's crib together. The recliners that Dan and I picked out will be coming Christmas Eve. I have washed and folded all of Clark's clothes and blankets. I have packed his hospital bag and packing mine is on the agenda for this week. I am starting to feel like we are actually somewhat prepared. There is still a lot to do, however. We will get there, I'm sure. It might all happen after he is born, but what can you do. I will do my best to get pictures soon.

Cravings: None, really. I still eat inhumane amounts of peanut butter every day though. I may not be able to eat peanut butter (or Honey Bunches of Oats) after this pregnancy.

Wedding Ring: Still wearing the sub-par replacement.

Sleep: Same as always. Can't seem to get enough of it.

Signs of Labor: Quite a lot actually! Two days ago, I had a lot of contractions. None of them were consistent enough to call it 'real' labor, but they must have done something. I had my doctor appointment yesterday and they "checked" me for the first time. I am currently measuring at 2 cm and am 70% effaced. Yay for progress before actual labor pain! Clark is in the "negative one" stage, which means he is still really high up. Apparently second babies rarely "drop" until you are in full labor. I have also had quite a few contractions yesterday, but again, none of them were consistent. They are, however, getting stronger. They are still not strong enough for me to stop what I'm doing or saying, but they are stronger.

Best Moment of the Week:  Putting Clark's room in order and building his crib. I can't wait to have everything ready for this babe to come!

What I'm Looking Forward To: The recliners Dan and I bought to come on Christmas Eve. We bought two because they were on super sale or something. Also, because we are not good at sharing. Seriously, I think I sat in it for a good half hour in the store. I haven't been that comfortable in months.

34 Weeks

Heyo! I am 34 weeks along today! I have not been good at writing these on the actual day that I graduate from week to week. Sorry about that. I will attempt to be better at that. Maybe. It all depends on how many episodes of Gillmore Girls I end up watching on Thursdays. (I think I'm on number 5 right now. I would be embarrassed, but I'm not. What? It's a good show!)

I'm not planning on changing out of my pajamas today.
So here is a very cute piece of pregnancy art that I'm seriously considering buying
instead of a scary photo of me.
You're welcome.

Clark is currently the size of a cantaloupe...I think we did this one already. Is a summer cantaloupe different from a regular cantaloupe? I think that's what he was a couple weeks ago. Any how, he is approx. 4.75 pounds and 18 inches long.  Half of every pound I gain until he is born is from him. He is swallowing about a pint of amniotic fluid every day, practicing for when he is born.  He is quickly running out of room, and is expressing his displeasure (or maybe he likes it?) by planting his feet in my ribs and kicking anything that intrudes on his shrinking bedroom. (like Daddy's arm or head if rested on my tummy. I love it.)

I got our car seat in the mail this week! We are skipping the infant car seat stage all together and going straight to the convertible.  This thing is giant. Clark is going to look so tiny in it. I installed it into my car yesterday...for those of you who don't know, my car is a tiny Honda Civic coupe. It fits, but barely. And getting him in and out will require no small amount of gymnastics. Luckily, it fits better in Dan's car where it will live most of the time anyway. (It has seat anchors, and mine doesn't)

You may remember me complaining about my pregnancy induced monster acne. If you have seen me lately, you have come face to face with it. I'm sorry. It is scary. These are not just little zits. These are giant, painful, red, tender, welts that are very distantly related to acne only because that's what my doctor says it is. I have tried everything you can safely do while pregnant to get rid of them. And...TaDa! I found a way! Dan and I buy the Thieves Hand Soap from Young Living Essential Oils and one day (Monday) I decided to wash my face with it. A few hours later and I saw a MAJOR difference in my complexion. Thank goodness for not looking like a 16 year old with volcano level acne.

Cravings: Nothing in particular the past week. Brownies. My Mother-In-Law made these super good homemade brownies and they smelled soooo gooooood. Which isn't good because of my doctor mandated no-sugar rule.

Belly Button: Same old same old. No change.

Wedding Ring: Bah. I wish I was still wearing it. I went out with Tori to do some Black Friday shopping and found a (sub par) replacement that is large enough to not freak Dan out. That means it is also large enough to fling off my finger at random times. Oddly enough, this happens mostly in the bathroom, where it almost always barely misses falling into the toilet.

Sleep: Same as always. Needing more and more and needing to go the bathroom more and more. A nap is a daily need now. Sometimes, this nap happens after a few hours of waking up for the day. Everything makes me tired now. Especially showers. I dread taking them because I know I will want a nap afterwards and then I ruin my chances of any semblance of a good hair day.

Signs of Labor: Just the random contraction every now and again. And pelvic pressure that comes and goes. Nothing to indicate Clark's arrival anytime soon.

Best and Worst Moment of the Week: Remember when I said we would be moving a few weeks ago? Well, that didn't happen.(Worst) This weekend, though, is the real deal! We are closing on Friday. (Best) So that means we are ACTUALLY moving this weekend! I have seriously been freaking out that we are not in our house and I am this far along. Clark could come literally any day and we are grossly underprepared.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Sleeping on my back again. I have been missing it this last week. It will be even better when I have an adorable babe to snuggle with.

Dream Baby (Adoption Related Post)

A little more than 5 years ago (ok, more than a little), I was pregnant with my first child. And I was single. I was about 15 weeks pregnant and was exploring my options within adoption. I had learned that I could have an open adoption and that my relationship with my child wouldn't end tragically with me in the hospital, weeping and tearing my hair out, never to see my baby again. I had learned that I could choose the people who would raise my baby. 

I made a list. This was a very detailed list of attributes I wished the parents of my baby to have. I didn't have anything in common with these two (supposably imaginary, as I never thought I could find people with everything I wanted) people, other than I knew I wanted to be like them "when I grew up." Here is a VERY SMALL sample of my requirements:

Her:

Stay at home mom

Likes to craft

Makes her own baby food

Plays with her kids

Strong testimony of the Gospel 

Loves music

Teaches her children of Christ

Supports her husband as father to her children

--I had a LOT more requirements for the mother of this family than the father. Like two handwritten pages full of them. My reasoning was, that if I could find a woman who fit my list, she wouldn't choose a dud of a husband, so to speak. She would be smart enough to find a partner who matched her. 

Him:

Returned missionary

Stable job

His kids are sad to see him go to work and thrilled to have him come home

Supports his wife as mother to his children

Strong testimony of the Gospel

Priesthood holder

Plays with his children

I chose these things because that what I imagined myself and my future husband would be like when we had children. If I couldn't give my child all these things myself right then, then I was going to find people who would.

I spent weeks looking online and bawling as I imagined placing my baby. I knew through personal revelation that the family I was looking for had already adopted. Also, I knew I wanted an open relationship and (selfishly) didn't want to be the guinea pig in an open adoption, so I was specifically looking for a family that had already adopted and had an open relationship with their first child's birth parents.

After receiving some help from my angel counselor, I thought I found a family. A few things stood out to me. One, I didn't bawl my eyes out reading their profile. In fact, I laughed. Two, I felt like I was reading what a future me and future husband would have written. 

I started emailing them back and forth to get to know them better.  I didn't even tell them I was pregnant, however, I was emailing them through LDS Family Services, so I guess they knew. 

I liked this couple, but I wasn't convinced yet.

Up to this point, I was convinced I was having a boy. I had been having dreams of me holding a baby boy, so I was convinced I was pregnant with a boy. Around week 20, I had an ultrasound. When I was told I was having a girl, I was shocked. I KNEW I was having a boy! I had them triple check, and after multiple scans to make sure, I was convinced to the reality of being pregnant with a girl. 

Baby Girl. She never left that upside-down position.

That night I had two very vivid dreams. In one, I saw Evige (the woman of the family I was communicating with) holding a baby girl. In the other, I saw myself holding that same baby boy I had been dreaming about my whole pregnancy, with a shadow of a man behind me. These dreams told me 1) Evige is this little girl's mother, and 2) I was to have a baby boy sometime in the future with my future husband. 

Evige and Sara, with Jorgen and Matt in the background.
 This is the day Sara was sealed to her family.

This dream, combined with a few other very large signs from our Heavenly Father, convinced me to the reality that my baby girl was intended to be raised by Matt and Evige. 

Why am I writing about this now? 

Because I am pregnant with my dream baby boy. And I have a husband who exceeds my list of requirements, as I try to live up to my own list. 

I love this man with all my heart and soul.
I am so lucky to call him my husband.

I thank Heavenly Father every day for giving me that bit of hope in the darkest and saddest part of my life. I knew that I would have a baby boy. And that I was to be his mother. I am so blessed to have a husband who loves me for who I am and supports me. I am so blessed to be pregnant with my promised baby boy. I have hoped and wished for my growing little family for years and years. And I am overwhelmed by joy. 

My Dream Baby.
I can't wait to hold Clark in my arms, as he has been
in my heart for years.